Speak

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

I saw this from the balcony one day.

writing at 11:13 PM

My mom's going to the Pennsylvania in USA this Saturday to work. I feel happy for her, but sorry for myself. Happy for her because after 20 odd years of working in the same company she's finally getting some recognition. And I'm very envious! Everything's gonna get paid for and it's winter time there. Sorry for myself because then there'd be no one to cook dinner for me for 2 months. Which is a great ordeal because I only know how to fry eggs. My brother's in China for training too it'd be lonely at home these few months.

//

If I don't think about it I'm okay.

writing at 10:45 PM

Monday, October 22, 2007

People go to group therapies, read self-help books, seek counselling, but I am a non-suscriber of such. How do you actually get used to the fact that someone died. Someone you knew so well, flesh and blood, reduced to ashes and splinters of bones.

writing at 3:40 PM

Friday, October 19, 2007

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

writing at 9:16 PM

Monday, October 15, 2007

My grandma passed away this morning, after 3 days in a coma. In a way it's a kind of liberalisation for her, to be free from the pain she was plagued with since her debilitating stroke 2 years ago.

She was still waving us goodbye when we were leaving after visiting her when she was still conscious. Seeing her in bed when she was comatosed was like watching her in a deep sleep, just that she wouldn't wake up no matter how many times we called her.

She took care of me since I was little and my parents had to go to work, my grandma. I think my grandma's very cool because she played video games like Metal Slug, Mario, Street Fighter on SEGA. And she was good at it. She was an integral part of my childhood, but over the years she slowly moved out of the picture as I grew up.

I guess everyone in the family saw the end coming, including my grandma herself. And suddenly all the memories of the past kept flooding in. My grandma's a Christian, so I should be happy that she's in a better place, but I can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of loss.

I feel sad. :(

writing at 8:49 AM

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Good things come in pears, I remember he said.
Instead I gave them away.

And then I chased him away.
He hated my indifference.

writing at 12:46 AM

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

At peak hour today I saw a girl crying in the train. She looks like she's in her early twenties. She wasn't bawling or wailing away, not even sobbing. But I saw a tear roll down her face.

I looked around, and nobody seemed to have noticed this girl crying. Or perhaps, like me, they were just pretending not to see it.

And I wonder. How many people secretly cry in the streets, on trains, in buses everyday.

writing at 11:23 PM

Sunday, October 07, 2007

I first saw Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind in 2004, when it first screened. Back then I didn't really thought much of the show because with my puny brain I couldn't really comprehend nor appreciate what was happening.

I watched it again today. It was like revision, you know when you re-read a textbook and suddenly the concepts just comes clear to you. Or like when you re-read a novel and noticed stuff which you never noticed or paid much attention to. In the same way watching it again made me see this show from a whole different perspective. I could understand and feel the nuances and tones.

This particular dialouge I like alot, when Clementine (Kate Winslet) and Joel (Jim Carrey's) realises that she, along with the rest of the happy times they shared together, are gonna be erased from his memory soon.

Clementine : This is it, Joel. It's gonna be gone soon.
Joel : I know.
Clementine : What do we do?
Joel : Enjoy it.

I like this show.
Wouldn't it be great, if you could really erase a memory.

writing at 10:43 PM

Thursday, October 04, 2007

I think these are hilarious!
I like the last one best.

writing at 12:33 AM