Sunday, July 25, 2004
Today was Youth Sunday, a special sunday where youths take over the adults in church to lead in songs and to do all the opening prayers and introduce the speaker for the day and stuff like that. I was one of the 2 leading. Everything was good - the music was good, the songs were good, the youth group special item was good, the speaker was good - all in all everything was very good, all except for me. And my sore throat. :( And here i wanna say something to my dear co-leader: I'm so sorry i couldn't make the worship leading a better one for us both.
I donno what caused the sore throat, but it was really bad becus i couldn't sing properly, let alone talk proper without going out of tune even in speech. The previous night i really prayed very hard for it to go away, but this morning i woke up with a real painful throat. Throughout the whole service i was practically out of tune the whole time.
After the 1st service i felt so disappointed and dejected and useless and all the lousy feelings mixed together. I mean, this was a really special day, and i had to mess it all up. :( and i think i know the reason why it happened.. the past few days i was busy preparing for today's worship with my co-leader, worrying over what to wear, how to sing the songs, what type of music the band shld play, what to say during the song intervals, i worried about anything and everything, and i forgot the most important thing: to just simply trust in God that He'll make everythin go well.
Well today was a lesson i think i'd never forget. It goes to show that no matter how prepared you are for something, be it a worship leading session or a mission trip or a special event, nothing is better than trusting and believing in God to make it successful. That was an important thing i overlooked. He has reminded me that it is not by my works alone that i can succeed, but that everything is under His control, and He has power over all things. Even if you're well prepared for something, anythin and everythin can crop up (like my sore throat), so its always best to commit everythin to God and give Him all control.
Yes Lord I hear You.
someone i have to really thank today is my co-leader. he had to bear with my sore throat, and he didn't even complain. i know it must be really stressful for him as it is for me as it's both our first time leading, but he handled everythin real well, both as a worship leader and a partner. late last night after going through the worship order, he told me to drink more honeywater, but i just briefly "orh-ed" and didn't think much of it. this morning when i came to church, he gave me a bottle of home-made honeywater and told me it's really good for sore throats and to drink it. it was really touching becus i didn't think he'd do sth so sweet. the honeywater was real effective cus my throat didn't hurt that much after. before the service started he offered to pray for me too, sth which only 1 other person has done for me. i'm not used to being shown so much concern, so naturally i felt very touched. and during the first service after the worship songs while the pastor was speaking, he told me he'd go out and get a drink, but he came back with a packet drink for me. i really wanna thank God for such an understanding friend, for just giving me support throughout the whole thing. I dont think you'd ever be reading this, but if u do, just wanna say a bigggggg thank you.
1. Nigeria
2. Mexico
3. Venezuela
4. El Salvador
5. Puerto Rico
It really set me thinking u know (cus most of the time i just flip thru the papers mindlessly).. how come the Nigerians living in a volatile, poverty-stricken country are happier than the prosperous Americans, who ranked 16th? I mean, okay lah, the politically correct answer is almost in everyone's face right now, but really and seriously, why isit that ppl who have wealth, abundance of basic needs, high standard of living, are still not content? i'm guilty of that too lah, actually. i mean, i shld be countin my blessings becus in comparison i'm so much more fortunate than most of the teenagers of the world, but heyyy i'm still here complainin that my phone is lousy, the air-con's not cold enough, i have not enough clothes, blahhh and the ilks.
maybe being poor is not such a bad thing after all.
We had 5 teams in our group, so there are 4 matches to be played. So it started, and i guess everyone were having the jitters since its our first game of the day. I was having butterflies in my stomach. Anyhows, the match point is 15, and we were leading 14-8, but alas we made too many mistakes of our own and the opponents won 14-15. Bleah the lousy thing about beach volleyball is that there is no deuce. Else i'm sure we cld've won. Anyways, it was a very wasted game on our part becus we went on to win the next 3 matches. If only we had won the first game. If only. If. Bahhhhh.
Anyways, it was still a fun and enriching day today cus i made new friends! :D and i caught up with old ones. I really like competition season cus can get to know alot of new ppl and meet old ones who share the same passion as you.
Ha, this year we didn't get in, but next year, i'll be back. [background orchestra into climax]
no, i dont think so.
anyways, the week passed by faster than i thought it wld! and tmr's comin in 10 hours time - Quiksilver Beach Vball C'ships! ha.. anyways, i took part in another locally organised beach volleyball tournament last saturday too, called SALT!, and boy was it an eye-opener.
me and my church friends formed a team, and we were up against the strongest teams around.. cus it was an open competition, there was no age limit, and we were playin against this team with a national beach volleyballer. Man his spikes were impossible to get.. and his jump serve is terrific! hehh i received one of those though. we didn't get trashed lah, we just... well, didn't win. (a nicer expression for losing)
anyways, all week i've been lookin forward to saturday, and i think its all this little excitement happening that makes life more interesting and worthwhile. i can't imagine a monotonous life where everyday is just studies and more studies. at least i have sth else to look forward to, to anticipate amidst the single repetitive note of school and study~
i hope i have enough little excitements around happening to keep me going thru this year. :)
i was tryin to make out what it was, and lo and behold! it was a bat! a bat in my house! there's a bat in my house!! ha pardon my excitement.. i mean, its not everyday that i get a real blood-sucking (okay lah mayb its not a blood-suckin bat, more like a fruit bat) bat in my house!
it flew around the living room, then into the dining area, then back to the living room where it finally settled on the wall fan. by then i had already stopped screaming and my brother stopped jumpin around too.
i was wondering why a bat would fly at such an altitude, since i live on the eighth floor. and my dad suggested that maybe it was being chased by an owl. poor bat.
but hey, it made my night quite exciting. :)
anyways, so i decided to look on the bright side of life, and i told myself at least it would be worth the money becus i get one-to-one attention and i can ask all the questions in the world that i wanna ask, questions i dint dare to ask in class becus i thought it'd be too irrelevant and incoherent and mindless and stupid.
but horrors of all horrors, i got a retired teacher who laughs at his own jokes. i donno what it is with teachers in their late years. of all the old teachers that i know, they laugh at their own jokes and think everyone else is equally amused and tickled, but in actual fact they fail to see the eye-rollings and groans and whatevers. or maybe they choose not to see it. ha.
anyways so the old retired teacher was laughin heartily at his own self-created chemistry joke, and for courtesy's sake i laughed a little along, although i donno what the joke is about. it would be quite awkward for him to be laughin alone while i stared at him laughing right, so sometimes i smiled my widest smile, and laughed a little, pretending to understand what his little joke is about.
so for 2 entire hours i spent faking laughs and smiles.
this was how i spent my first tuition class, and i'm dreading the next lesson already. for this first lesson i didn't even dare to ask any questions becus this teacher was so oppressing! he assumes i know my chemistry in and out, out and in, and he says the TYS questions on molecular structure is stupid. this is worse than chem lessons in school.. at least if i took a little nap in class nobody would notice, but here, its one-to-one, he can see my every move. i didnt even dare to yawn.
i thought tuition was supposed to be fun. :S
anyways, so i decided to look on the bright side of life, and i told myself at least it would be worth the money becus i get one-to-one attention and i can ask all the questions in the world that i wanna ask, questions i dint dare to ask in class becus i thought it'd be too irrelevant and incoherent and mindless and stupid.
but horrors of all horrors, i got a retired teacher who laughs at his own jokes. i donno what it is with teachers in their late years. of all the old teachers that i know, they laugh at their own jokes and think everyone else is equally amused and tickled, but in actual fact they fail to see the eye-rollings and groans and whatevers. or maybe they choose not to see it. ha.
anyways so the old retired teacher was laughin heartily at his own self-created chemistry joke, and for courtesy's sake i laughed a little along, although i donno what the joke is about. it would be quite awkward for him to be laughin alone while i stared at him laughing right, so sometimes i smiled my widest smile, and laughed a little, pretending to understand what his little joke is about.
so for 2 entire hours i spent faking laughs and smiles.
this was how i spent my first tuition class, and i'm dreading the next lesson already. for this first lesson i didn't even dare to ask any questions becus this teacher was so oppressing! he assumes i know my chemistry in and out, out and in, and he says the TYS questions on molecular structure is stupid. this is worse than chem lessons in school.. at least if i took a little nap in class nobody would notice, but here, its one-to-one, he can see my every move. i didnt even dare to yawn.
i thought tuition was supposed to be fun. :S
quite a cool website.
anyways i realised i've been super duper pessimistic the past few days, or maybe the past month. i realised i kept questioning and complainin about why others get to live life the way they want it, but i can't. like how this person has everyth so easily and freely but i hafta work my butt off but still remain stagnant.
so many things i work hard for, but in the end come to naught.
a friend then told me that God has other plans for me. and even though it goes against the way i wanna it to be, His plans are always the best plans. well this reminded me of the bible verse:
how true. i donno how to properly put it down in words, but whenever i face the thunderstorms and hurricanes of life, i find that under God's hiding place i feel the safest and most secure. everytime i turn to God, whether to read the bible or in prayer, i find the things of the world really dim in significance in comparison to Him. i am always reminded by the fact that what really really matters is what is to come, not what is now happening.
hehh i doubt ppl can actually make sense of what i'm saying now, but just wanna say that i really don't regret knowing God, the solid Rock of my life.
Today was Youth Sunday, a special sunday where youths take over the adults in church to lead in songs and to do all the opening prayers and introduce the speaker for the day and stuff like that. I was one of the 2 leading. Everything was good - the music was good, the songs were good, the youth group special item was good, the speaker was good - all in all everything was very good, all except for me. And my sore throat. :( And here i wanna say something to my dear co-leader: I'm so sorry i couldn't make the worship leading a better one for us both.
I donno what caused the sore throat, but it was really bad becus i couldn't sing properly, let alone talk proper without going out of tune even in speech. The previous night i really prayed very hard for it to go away, but this morning i woke up with a real painful throat. Throughout the whole service i was practically out of tune the whole time.
After the 1st service i felt so disappointed and dejected and useless and all the lousy feelings mixed together. I mean, this was a really special day, and i had to mess it all up. :( and i think i know the reason why it happened.. the past few days i was busy preparing for today's worship with my co-leader, worrying over what to wear, how to sing the songs, what type of music the band shld play, what to say during the song intervals, i worried about anything and everything, and i forgot the most important thing: to just simply trust in God that He'll make everythin go well.
Well today was a lesson i think i'd never forget. It goes to show that no matter how prepared you are for something, be it a worship leading session or a mission trip or a special event, nothing is better than trusting and believing in God to make it successful. That was an important thing i overlooked. He has reminded me that it is not by my works alone that i can succeed, but that everything is under His control, and He has power over all things. Even if you're well prepared for something, anythin and everythin can crop up (like my sore throat), so its always best to commit everythin to God and give Him all control.
Yes Lord I hear You.
-
someone i have to really thank today is my co-leader. he had to bear with my sore throat, and he didn't even complain. i know it must be really stressful for him as it is for me as it's both our first time leading, but he handled everythin real well, both as a worship leader and a partner. late last night after going through the worship order, he told me to drink more honeywater, but i just briefly "orh-ed" and didn't think much of it. this morning when i came to church, he gave me a bottle of home-made honeywater and told me it's really good for sore throats and to drink it. it was really touching becus i didn't think he'd do sth so sweet. the honeywater was real effective cus my throat didn't hurt that much after. before the service started he offered to pray for me too, sth which only 1 other person has done for me. i'm not used to being shown so much concern, so naturally i felt very touched. and during the first service after the worship songs while the pastor was speaking, he told me he'd go out and get a drink, but he came back with a packet drink for me. i really wanna thank God for such an understanding friend, for just giving me support throughout the whole thing. I dont think you'd ever be reading this, but if u do, just wanna say a bigggggg thank you.
writing at 9:39 PM
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
1. Nigeria
2. Mexico
3. Venezuela
4. El Salvador
5. Puerto Rico
It really set me thinking u know (cus most of the time i just flip thru the papers mindlessly).. how come the Nigerians living in a volatile, poverty-stricken country are happier than the prosperous Americans, who ranked 16th? I mean, okay lah, the politically correct answer is almost in everyone's face right now, but really and seriously, why isit that ppl who have wealth, abundance of basic needs, high standard of living, are still not content? i'm guilty of that too lah, actually. i mean, i shld be countin my blessings becus in comparison i'm so much more fortunate than most of the teenagers of the world, but heyyy i'm still here complainin that my phone is lousy, the air-con's not cold enough, i have not enough clothes, blahhh and the ilks.
maybe being poor is not such a bad thing after all.
writing at 5:37 PM
Saturday, July 17, 2004
We had 5 teams in our group, so there are 4 matches to be played. So it started, and i guess everyone were having the jitters since its our first game of the day. I was having butterflies in my stomach. Anyhows, the match point is 15, and we were leading 14-8, but alas we made too many mistakes of our own and the opponents won 14-15. Bleah the lousy thing about beach volleyball is that there is no deuce. Else i'm sure we cld've won. Anyways, it was a very wasted game on our part becus we went on to win the next 3 matches. If only we had won the first game. If only. If. Bahhhhh.
Anyways, it was still a fun and enriching day today cus i made new friends! :D and i caught up with old ones. I really like competition season cus can get to know alot of new ppl and meet old ones who share the same passion as you.
Ha, this year we didn't get in, but next year, i'll be back. [background orchestra into climax]
writing at 11:02 PM
Friday, July 16, 2004
no, i dont think so.
-
anyways, the week passed by faster than i thought it wld! and tmr's comin in 10 hours time - Quiksilver Beach Vball C'ships! ha.. anyways, i took part in another locally organised beach volleyball tournament last saturday too, called SALT!, and boy was it an eye-opener.
me and my church friends formed a team, and we were up against the strongest teams around.. cus it was an open competition, there was no age limit, and we were playin against this team with a national beach volleyballer. Man his spikes were impossible to get.. and his jump serve is terrific! hehh i received one of those though. we didn't get trashed lah, we just... well, didn't win. (a nicer expression for losing)
anyways, all week i've been lookin forward to saturday, and i think its all this little excitement happening that makes life more interesting and worthwhile. i can't imagine a monotonous life where everyday is just studies and more studies. at least i have sth else to look forward to, to anticipate amidst the single repetitive note of school and study~
i hope i have enough little excitements around happening to keep me going thru this year. :)
writing at 9:17 PM
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
i was tryin to make out what it was, and lo and behold! it was a bat! a bat in my house! there's a bat in my house!! ha pardon my excitement.. i mean, its not everyday that i get a real blood-sucking (okay lah mayb its not a blood-suckin bat, more like a fruit bat) bat in my house!
it flew around the living room, then into the dining area, then back to the living room where it finally settled on the wall fan. by then i had already stopped screaming and my brother stopped jumpin around too.
i was wondering why a bat would fly at such an altitude, since i live on the eighth floor. and my dad suggested that maybe it was being chased by an owl. poor bat.
but hey, it made my night quite exciting. :)
writing at 11:50 PM
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
anyways, so i decided to look on the bright side of life, and i told myself at least it would be worth the money becus i get one-to-one attention and i can ask all the questions in the world that i wanna ask, questions i dint dare to ask in class becus i thought it'd be too irrelevant and incoherent and mindless and stupid.
but horrors of all horrors, i got a retired teacher who laughs at his own jokes. i donno what it is with teachers in their late years. of all the old teachers that i know, they laugh at their own jokes and think everyone else is equally amused and tickled, but in actual fact they fail to see the eye-rollings and groans and whatevers. or maybe they choose not to see it. ha.
anyways so the old retired teacher was laughin heartily at his own self-created chemistry joke, and for courtesy's sake i laughed a little along, although i donno what the joke is about. it would be quite awkward for him to be laughin alone while i stared at him laughing right, so sometimes i smiled my widest smile, and laughed a little, pretending to understand what his little joke is about.
so for 2 entire hours i spent faking laughs and smiles.
this was how i spent my first tuition class, and i'm dreading the next lesson already. for this first lesson i didn't even dare to ask any questions becus this teacher was so oppressing! he assumes i know my chemistry in and out, out and in, and he says the TYS questions on molecular structure is stupid. this is worse than chem lessons in school.. at least if i took a little nap in class nobody would notice, but here, its one-to-one, he can see my every move. i didnt even dare to yawn.
i thought tuition was supposed to be fun. :S
writing at 10:25 PM
anyways, so i decided to look on the bright side of life, and i told myself at least it would be worth the money becus i get one-to-one attention and i can ask all the questions in the world that i wanna ask, questions i dint dare to ask in class becus i thought it'd be too irrelevant and incoherent and mindless and stupid.
but horrors of all horrors, i got a retired teacher who laughs at his own jokes. i donno what it is with teachers in their late years. of all the old teachers that i know, they laugh at their own jokes and think everyone else is equally amused and tickled, but in actual fact they fail to see the eye-rollings and groans and whatevers. or maybe they choose not to see it. ha.
anyways so the old retired teacher was laughin heartily at his own self-created chemistry joke, and for courtesy's sake i laughed a little along, although i donno what the joke is about. it would be quite awkward for him to be laughin alone while i stared at him laughing right, so sometimes i smiled my widest smile, and laughed a little, pretending to understand what his little joke is about.
so for 2 entire hours i spent faking laughs and smiles.
this was how i spent my first tuition class, and i'm dreading the next lesson already. for this first lesson i didn't even dare to ask any questions becus this teacher was so oppressing! he assumes i know my chemistry in and out, out and in, and he says the TYS questions on molecular structure is stupid. this is worse than chem lessons in school.. at least if i took a little nap in class nobody would notice, but here, its one-to-one, he can see my every move. i didnt even dare to yawn.
i thought tuition was supposed to be fun. :S
writing at 9:46 PM
Monday, July 05, 2004
quite a cool website.
-
anyways i realised i've been super duper pessimistic the past few days, or maybe the past month. i realised i kept questioning and complainin about why others get to live life the way they want it, but i can't. like how this person has everyth so easily and freely but i hafta work my butt off but still remain stagnant.
so many things i work hard for, but in the end come to naught.
a friend then told me that God has other plans for me. and even though it goes against the way i wanna it to be, His plans are always the best plans. well this reminded me of the bible verse:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
-Jeremiah 29:11-
how true. i donno how to properly put it down in words, but whenever i face the thunderstorms and hurricanes of life, i find that under God's hiding place i feel the safest and most secure. everytime i turn to God, whether to read the bible or in prayer, i find the things of the world really dim in significance in comparison to Him. i am always reminded by the fact that what really really matters is what is to come, not what is now happening.
hehh i doubt ppl can actually make sense of what i'm saying now, but just wanna say that i really don't regret knowing God, the solid Rock of my life.
writing at 8:42 PM
Thursday, July 01, 2004
reve casse (french)
defektor Traum (german)
sogno rotto(italian)
gebroken droom (dutch)
sonho quebrado (portugese)
they all mean the same thing.
writing at 8:26 PM
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