Monday, January 22, 2007

Relief teaching back at my primary school made me feel nostalgic. It was surprising to know most of the teachers who taught me still recognise me, even as they grapple with old age. I used to think teaching back at my primary school would be too close for comfort, especially working alongside teachers whom you once feared. Maybe I was just afraid the same old fear would resurface. But I was just being paranoid. I could see the pride in their eyes when I told them they had once taught me. It feels weird to talk to them as a fellow colleague because 10 years ago they were towering over me, and now I've outgrown them. Or have they shrunk. Eitherway, to me, they'll always be my teachers, not colleagues.

That aside, I actually enjoy teaching. I didn't know there was so much shouting involved though, especially when you're dealing with a whole class of hyperactive 8 year olds. It can be exasperating, when they refuse to listen and start making a racket. Some students are really nice and obedient, behaving like good little children should. But some are like little devils. Many times I feel like just grabbing them by the collar and shoving them into the cupboard at the back of the classroom. No wonder the teaching pay is good, considering the high risk of insanity.

Days like these fly by - I wake up in the morning for relief teaching when schools call me, then head to work at Night Safari after. And on my off days I teach tuition. It makes me feel like I've used my time well, tiring though it is.

If you ask me which I prefer, studying or working, I have yet to draw any conclusions. Working is hard, but so it studying. Working is fun, but so it school.

Therein lies the paradox.

writing at 9:09 AM

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Tuesday, January 09, 2007

The past few days were hectic but fun. I'm working at the Night Safari now for the Show Department and learning more things than I thought I would. It's hard at first, because I knew nothing about nothing and everyone is always on the move, in a rush for time, so no one could stop and explain what or how I should go about doing things. People are so tightly strung that the tension is unimaginable. Anything said or done wrongly might trigger an unwanted outburst.

The lousy thing about working for a company is having to put up with erratic moods of those above you, be meek and smile at everything when all you wanna do is make some sarcastic remark (and get fired). Rawr.

But nevertheless, it's an enjoyable employment. You get to go up close to the "creatures of the night", feed the animals, work behind the scenes, make friends with tribal people, talk to people of all nationalities. And I learnt how to use a walkie-talkie! The first time I used it I went "hello hello", and I got blasted for it because I'm supposed to use professional walkie-talkie lingo like "send over", "come in come in", "roger". Whatever.

And the best part is I don't have to work in an office, at all. I like this job.

writing at 11:52 AM

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You know how sometimes you get used to a constant droning, or a constant buzzing in the background, that you don't realise consciously that it's there anymore. And when the droning or buzzing suddenly stops, you're suddenly aware it's gone because of the silence that takes over.

An emptiness magnified.

writing at 4:14 AM

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Monday, January 01, 2007

So the new year has arrived. I watched 2006 fade away as 2007 slowly take form, not as a reveler, but a bystander. The last moments and the first moments, stood out more than all those years of partying. I don't mind more transitions like that.

The past year was eventful, both big and small. Would I have made different decisions? Lived anything otherwise? Said things I didn't? I think not.

Without regrets.

I know not what the future holds, but I know the present is a gift.

(So corny! Haha!)

writing at 10:29 AM

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