Speak

Saturday, February 28, 2004

The whole team went to Mr Teo (our teacher in charge)’s house for lunner (lunch + dinner) today. It was supposed to be a Crystal Jade treat, but it morphed into a lunner instead. Talk about down-sizing. Anyways his house was so cool! Simple yet sophisticated. Maybe I’ll get a house like that when I grow up.

His whole family – his wife and 2 pre-school daughters – were there. I was just sitting in a corner eating lunner and observing him and his daughters. I don’t know how, nor why, my eyes suddenly just stung with the sudden presence of tears. I felt my throat choke up, and I quickly blinked them away. His love for his daughters were so “in my face” it was almost spelt out right in front of me. This wasn’t any simple ‘I-love-you-because-you-are-my-daughter” type of love, it was a deep, resounding, rooted, and unchanging love. His daughters were so small in size sitting next to the burly (ex-water polo player) Mr Teo. Yet I could see the gentleness displayed in him. He let them climb all over him as he sat cross-legged on the floor, and he was always laughing that contented blissful hohoho kinda laugh. I could see how happy his daughters made him, and how they were already a large part of his heart. Now I finally understood why he was reluctant to stay overnight with us during training camps.

Maybe my eyes stung because I was touched by his love for his daughters, or maybe I’m tearing because I know that I’d never be able to share the same closeness with my own father. Or mother. Anyways one thing I was glad to have found out is that Mr Teo is a Christian! I have found another member of God’s family~ Such a wonderful feeling to know that amidst a cold and unfeeling world, there exists a warm network of brothers and sisters in Christ who will always welcome you no matter who you are.

writing at 11:10 PM

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Today was the prize giving ceremony at CCK stadium. I have been nervous and excited the whole day(from the moment I woke up until I board the bus) for this one moment of pride.

We sat in a single file on the volleyball court in the stadium, alongside other winners of other divisions. Before we alighted from the bus I had made sure that my team was looking their best. I checked the length of their sock (no ankle socks length allowed), made sure they had their nametags, and that their hair was neatly tied up with a black rubberband. I had even decided to bar any player from going up to receive their trophy if they don’t fulfil the above requirements, including me. Today was our big day! I want others to always remember us as the disciplined team (like the St. Hildas boys team).

When they called on our school’s name I was so proud! With confident strides I led the team to receive what we had worked so hard for: the silver medal. Or in this year’s case, trophy lah. I’ve been practicing a firm handshake and a genuine sincere smile with everybody the entire day. So I firmly gripped the principal(of whatever school it is)’s hands and just couldn’t shut my mouth with all that smiling. I was smiling my head off in that 3 minutes upstage, and it wasn’t forced! It was from the heart. Such was the extent of my joy and pride.

Seriously, I’m really very proud of my whole team… We’ve ventured far beyond what we could ever imagine! It was so different from last year! Last year after every match we always left the court with a heavy heart and the question that keeps looming up and screaming at us was: why are we always losing? But this year, I have yet the chance to ask myself, or the team, this. And I hope I never have to.

This prize presentation may mark the end of the zonal games for us, but it is only the beginning. =D

writing at 12:08 AM

Monday, February 23, 2004

I didn’t expect us to come so far. Even before the zonal competition started I was worried and paranoid that history would repeat itself – to lose our calm in simple matches and give them away. But NO! This year’s team came out stronger than ever! When we won Unity I was flying! In C Div (2002) we lost our first game to them 2-0 and got kicked out of zone, and last year we lost to them again 2-1, and because of that loss we almost didn’t make it for Nationals. In our group we only lost to Jurong (one of the stronger girls team around) so that makes us second in the group. We were to play Hwa Yi in the semi-finals. Which is today.

Hwa Yi is better this year. They beat Shu Qun and was top in their group. I was hesitant and afraid that we would be defeated. In fact, before zones started, my predictions was that Jurong and Hwa Yi will be top 2 in zone. Hwa Yi was that strong.

When we played today, I was nervous like shit! Even more nervous than the Unity match. I tried to keep a confident front even though my hands were cold and my legs were unstable. Heck I am the captain! Any sign of weakness from me will affect the morale of the team! The game started with them leading 3-0, and I was so filled with fear and anxiety mixed together I could burst anytime! But after fighting our lives out we gained the upperhand and maintained a lead all the way! We won the first set 21-25.

The second set was even more uptight as they were desperate. At a point they were leading 20-17, and we were losing our cool, making our own mistakes (and I found out a new equation. Level of anxiety is directly proportionate to the no. of mistakes made). A last move by Dorothy saved the day – she subbed Pam in to replace our center spike. Thank goodness Pam was aggressive enough. We flipped the table and got back the lead to 24-21, and when the last ball was ours to take, I punched my fist in the air and jumped up and screamed!!!

We’re in the finals!!! We’re fighting for zone champ tomorrow! The years of hard work at least didn’t go down the drain. The whole team ran into the court and steady-aced! I ran to my coach and hugged her as hard as I could! Heck with all the sweat and stickiness and filth and stink! We won!

writing at 11:16 PM

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Happy Birthday to me! This year’s birthday was one of the best that I ever had for a long time. Especially since they were never considered an occasion to be celebrated in my family. Never once did my family make me look forward to it. Nah, but its okay, I’m used to it already..

Anyways it was completely different in school! I had donno how many ppl comin up to wish me happy bday! Plus my classmates were reeeaaal nice! They bought me a nike orange sports bra, one that I had always wanted! 4/8, I lurve you!

writing at 10:21 PM

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Today’s match against Unity was very crucial. A win means we’ll move on to semi-finals, a loss will be… unimaginable. I was so nervous my legs won’t stop shaking in court. But I don want to affect the team in anyway by letting my fear or nervousness show, so I put on a front of confidence (but inside my heart is pounding like mad!). Right from the beginning we were leading all the way, with every ball I felt REAL confidence growing in the team. We won the first set 25-14. Still I didn’t dare to let my guards down and relax. Even for the second set I could feel the tenseness(is there such a word?) of the team. Such was depth of our desire to win. We made a few mistakes here and there, but our service and spikes were wonderful! We finally won with a score of 25-18. We won. We won!!! It took awhile for the euphoria to set it. All my fears of not getting into Nationals instantly vanished! I could feel the excitement and relief that came over everybody as we walked out of the court. Heads held high in victory.

writing at 2:55 AM