Wednesday, November 09, 2005

I've never come close to confessing what I truly feel to anyone before, maybe except God. It's so hard you know. Words fail me when I need them most.

I can't imagine myself blabbering or whining on about how screwed up everything is how terrible I feel how deeply entrenched in shit I am (aha pardon me for the crude expression but there is no better way to describe it accurately). My mom said I inherited my dad's passive genes. Hey but you know everytime I see my dad sitting there seemingly stoning at his beloved luohan fishes I know below that calm demeanor are torrents upon torrents of thoughts, because my dad is a clever man. He always has his own special way of dishing out advice, even in silence.

I donno, but it's almost as if I have this phobia about letting people into the deep recesses of my mind. Or heart. It exposes the weak and vulnerable side of me. It's almost like, supplying others with the deadliest weapon to destroy yourself, don't you think. Sometimes the closest person can hurt you the most.

I think I'm selfish. Like a fishmonger.





997 more to go! I told ya I don't cheat. ;)

writing at 11:38 PM

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