Speak

Friday, June 17, 2005

The immeasurable magnitude of the catastrophe that struck... Oh, what calamity has befallen me!

Who can fathom the aftermath of inexpressible anguish and torment that plagues me unceasingly after the great adversity. The infliction of grievous physical agony and mental distress has left me void of all optimistic outlook of outward appearance.

Woe to me, woe!

Sigh.

I cut my hair today.

It's so short, I might as well be bald. :(

writing at 8:32 PM

Monday, June 13, 2005

Recently, I've discovered the power of words. And what it means to give your word, and to keep it.

I really hate to break promises, and the same goes for promise-breakers. I don't want to give others the license to use it as a weapon against me if they happen to break any promise they gave.

What makes a promise then?

If a promisor is a person who makes a promise, then a promisee is a person for whom the promise is made (courtesy of www.dictionary.com). If the promisee lets go of the matter (i.e., if the promisee terminates the promise), is the promisor then freed from the bondage of the word he had previously given? Forthwith if he then did not live up to his word, did he break his promise (since a word is a word, you can't take it back)? Or did he not?

Ah, this is confusing. But what ties in with promises is the question on integrity. You can not own everything else, but you gotta have integrity.

I've lost mine, and I gotta earn it back.

Side notes: "Promises are meant to be broken?", "This may or may not be your first time breaking a promise, but it's not going to be your last."

writing at 12:52 PM

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Recently my days have been revolving around volleyball competition and more competition. Counting tomorrow, it'd be my fifth consecutive day playing volleyball competitively, and you don't know how tiring it can get. The toll on the physical body and mental perseverance is overwhelming, but I must say it's a good test of endurance.

I haven't felt this relaxed playing volleyball for a longgggg time already. Being just a player on court, not carrying the back-breaking weight of the team on your shoulders, actually gives me the freedom to play better. And what I have learnt from the coach far surpasses what meagreness I gained (or, what volume I lost) thus far. It just further distinguishes shallowness from depth, inadequacy from competence, deficiency from complement.

I never felt such a burning desire to reach for that shiny piece of achievement, almost hungering after it as adrenaline courses through my veins everytime I think about it.

Tomorrow holds the ticket for playing in the finals. And I want to get it, and more importantly, to earn it.

I wish that niggling thought about the upcoming block tests will just go away.

writing at 10:05 PM

Life's greatest philosophy is not handed down in stoic texts and dusty tomes, but lived, in each breath and act of human compassion. For love has always demanded sacrifice, and no greater love is there than that for which our lives are traded.

And in this great cause of spiritual evolution we are all called to be martyrs, to die each of us in the the quest of a higher realm and loftier ideals, that we may know God.

And what if there is nothing else? What if all life ends in the silent void of death? Then is it all in vain? I think not. For love, for the sake of love, will always be enough. And if our lives are but a single flash in the dark hollow of eternity, then, if, but for the briefest of moments, we shine - then how brilliantly our light has burned. And as the starlight knows no boundary of space or time, so, too, our illumination will shine forth throughout all eternity, for darkness has no power to quell such light. And this is a lesson we must all learn and take to heart - that all light is eternal and all love is light. And it must forever be so.

-Richard Paul Evans, The Letter.

writing at 10:09 AM